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任何出国留学的人都应该知道petersons这个网站,以下是这个网站总结的写作个人陈述常见错误。Personal Statement Mistakes

There are certain things you should do while writing your personal statement and certain things you definitely shouldn’t! While writing, avoid the following and create an essay to impress.避免一下错误,力争写出引人入胜的文章

Careless errors 粗心大意

There is really no excuse for careless errors, and having even one in your application can affect the way you are perceived. You have more than enough time to proofread and have others look over your essay. If an error slips through, your readers may assume that you are careless, disorganized, or not serious enough about your application. 应该避免错误,让别人帮助阅读一下。如果出现错误,读者就会觉得你不够认真、缺乏组织性,不够严肃。

Vague generalities 含糊不清过于笼统

The most egregious generalizations are the ones that have been used so many times that they have become clichés. For example, "I learned the value of hard work." That statement has been said so many times as to become meaningless. 不要用一些陈词滥调,比如不要说我了解了艰苦工作的价值。看看下面的修改。www.flytowest.com网站给客户提供的文书就是本着这样有血有肉的写作原则。

Before:In the first project I managed, I learned many valuable lessons about the importance of teamwork.修改前:在我管理的第一个项目中,我意识到团队精神的重要性。

After:In the first project I managed, I made an effort to incorporate all my colleagues as equal members of a team, soliciting their feedback and deferring to their expertise as needed.

修改后:

The revised version explains the team dynamic in more detail, showing specifically how the applicant exercised teamwork principles. The passage should go on to include even more detail, perhaps by naming a particular colleague and discussing his interaction with that person.修改后的文章更加具体,接下来应该拿出某个人作为例子,讲述与这个人的沟通等。

Summarizing your resume 将简历内容综合了一下

Perhaps the most common personal statement blunder is to write an expository resume of your background and experience. This is not to say that the schools are not interested in your accomplishments. However, other portions of your application will provide this information. Strive for depth, not breadth. 最常见的错误就是重复简历中出现的内容。

"A straight autobiography should be avoided, although interesting and pertinent autobiographical facts should be included. But the statement should be more future-oriented than past-oriented. I don't really want the story of a student's life but rather plans for and a vision of the future."

— Graduate English Department at UCLA加利福尼亚大学洛杉矶分校认为,不要写成个人自传,个人陈述应该更加面向未来,而不是重复过去。

Sensitive topics 敏感的话题。

Don't get on a soapbox and preach to the reader; while expressing your values and opinions is fine, avoid coming across as fanatical or extreme. Religion and politics normally don't belong, unless you were a member of a political committee or club. Personal political views usually are not appropriate for personal statements. Any views that might be interpreted as strange or unconventional should also be omitted. You want to avoid offending individuals in whose hands the fate of your graduate school application rests. 不要想象着自己对读者要布道一样。宗教和政治都是敏感的话题,个人陈述中最好不要谈及政治观点,更不要谈及那些出奇的或者非传统的观点。www.flytowest.com发现有的客户对中国目前的一些社会现象过于抨击。

Gimmicks 不要耍小聪明

Don't use a gimmicky style or format. Your "clever" or "original" idea for style probably isn't, and it may not be appreciated.

"Avoid cuteness; we've had people who have done career statements in the form of a mini-play, for example. You want to sound like a professional."

— The Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs

Princeton University普林斯顿大学,不要装腔作势,有的学生将个人陈述写成了小剧本。www.flytowest.com发现一些客户将个人陈述写成了散文性质的,也是过于形式化。

Long-windedness 冗长罗嗦

Sometimes the same writer who relies too heavily on generalizations will also provide too many irrelevant details. The problem is that writers often don't consider what is actually necessary to include, or they repeat points freely. 不要面面俱到,提供过多的事例,关键是应该有逻辑性。

Example of irrelevant detail:"After a meeting with my adviser, I returned home to think over the matter more carefully. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that my interests in physical properties and mental life would best be explored in a double major of biology and psychology." 看看这个例子,讲述了不相关的细节。

In this example, we learn nothing about the applicant from the mention of his meeting with an adviser. What's relevant are his interests and the decision he made based on them.

Example of redundancy:"The class taught me a great deal about the value of literature. I learned that literature can both instruct and inspire, and this understanding has changed the way I read every text." 冗长的毛病。

You also have to watch out for wordy writing. Short sentences are more forceful because they are direct and to the point. 简短的句子更加有力。

Before:"My recognition of the fact that the project was finally over was a deeply satisfying moment that will forever linger in my memory." 修改前的句子过于冗长拖泥带水

After:"Completing the project at last gave me an enduring sense of fulfillment."修改后。

Big words 吹牛夸大

Using longer, fancier words does not make you sound more intelligent, since anyone can consult a thesaurus. Simpler language is almost always preferable, as it demonstrates your ability to think and express yourself clearly. 不要用一些大的、花哨的词汇,简单的词汇最好,说明你可以明确表达自己。

Before:"Although I did a plethora of activities in college, my assiduous efforts enabled me to succeed." 修改前

After:"Although I juggled many activities in college, I succeeded through persistent work."修改后

www.flytowest.com留学文书写作润色网站编译。原文来自http://www.petersons.com/common/article.asp?id=1009&path=gr.gs.advice&sponsor=1