Getting Feedback on Your Personal Statement听取别人的意见

Getting feedback from others is a critical part of writing your essay. If your teachers, peers, or parents have suggestions, listen carefully. You don't have to take every suggestion, but try them out and find out which ones work. You'll want to be very specific in asking for feedback; if there are sections of your essay that you are particularly concerned about, ask your readers to pay special attention to those parts. 听取老师父母或者同龄人的建议。虽然不需要接受每个建议，但是应该尽量集思广益

It is very important that your essay be your own creation and be conveyed in your own words, but it is okay (and even encouraged) to get feedback from others. 一定注意要体现自己的风格，毕竟你的文章应该用你的思维和语言去表达。

When soliciting feedback, steel yourself to criticism. Not everyone will see your essay the way you do. After receiving feedback, and before revising, write down the comments you receive and look for patterns. Use these patterns to decide how to proceed. If every one of your readers thinks that your essay is too wordy, then you can be pretty sure that your essay is too wordy, and revising for a simpler, more natural style should be a top priority.
总结别人的意见建议，如果大家都认为你的文章废话连篇，那就说明的确是存在这种问题。

Help your readers by providing a structure for them to respond. Ask your readers to comment first on larger issues, and lastly on grammar or syntax (problems with which often disappear in a second draft, so commenting extensively on grammar in the first draft is often a waste of your reader's time, particularly if the ideas you wish to convey are still unclear). 请你的读者就大的方面和语法等小的方面分别提出问题。不要让读者在第一遍就重视语法等问题。第一遍应该抓大放小

Use the following questions as a guide for your readers. 请你的读者主要就以下方面做出回答。

Overall Impression总体印象

1. After reading my essay, what three words would you use to describe me? 阅读之后，将用哪三个词语做出概括。

2. After reading the essay, what do you think its overall theme is?主题是什么

3. In what way (or where) is the essay most persuasive?文章哪个方面最后说服力。

4. In what way (or where) is it least persuasive?哪个方面最没有说服力。

Structure and Organization结构和框架

5. Is the essay organized in a logical fashion?是否符合逻辑。

6. Are the transitions between paragraphs fluid and logical? 段落衔接是否流畅合理。

7. Do the paragraphs build upon one another, and move from smaller issues to more significant ones? 段落之间是否互相支撑，是否由浅入深地谈及各个问题。

Grammar and Syntax语法

8. Are there grammar errors? If so, what are they?是否有语法错误

9. Are the words used appropriate? 用词是否恰当

10. What other comments/suggestions do you have that will strengthen my essay?其它意见呢？