出国留学文书写作系列教材——如何撰写MBA类文书
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For the first 20 years of my life, my activities--and self-confidence--were circumscribed by the fact that I was a chronic allergic asthmatic. I was underweight, not as strong or as well as my peers, and unable to participate normally in sports. At night I was unable to sleep without an inhaler beside my bed. I was forced to ingest heavy medication on a daily basis.首先说明自己得困难

At the age of 20 I started running (slowly at first), because I discovered that this exercise--although routinely precipitating a mild asthma attack--would later enable me to sleep through the night. Very gradually, my runs became longer. My strength improved, the severity and frequency of my attacks lessened, and soon I was able to discontinue all medication. More remarkably, after about seven years I was actually able to run 20 miles with no problem at all. This accomplishment was an enormous confidence booster, as it demonstrated that a normal, healthy life was possible for me and that I could achieve anything if I set my mind to it.进步

Eventually it was a logical step for me to progress into competition. I found myself running in marathons and, finally, competing in triathlons. In 1983, in fact, I successfully competed in the Hawaii Ironman triathlon, arguably the most arduous and certainly the most celebrated single-day athletic endurance event.

I have assiduously pursued aerobic exercise for the past 11 years, ever since I discovered that such endeavors were finally possible for me and were the means by which I could attain physical strength and well-being. It was a long and arduous road--from huffing and puffing (and wheezing) my way through tentative one-mile runs to involving myself in the rigors of the triathlon--but I was determined to become fit and to stay fit.

It has made all the difference.一切都不同了

 

This applicant does choose a physical activity, but he offers a twist: running posed a significant immediate challenge to him because he suffers from asthma. He does not need to cite clichéd lessons to give his account meaning. Instead, we see from the specific progress he made--"from huffing and puffing (and wheezing) my way through tentative one-mile runs to involving myself in the rigors of the triathlon"--how committed and determined he was.作者选取了体育活动,但是表述得并不好。他并不需要一些废话。

出国留学文书写作系列教材——如何撰写MBA类文书
(由留学文书写作润色网站www.flytowest.com整理编辑制作发布,旨在方便申请留学。
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